Contemplated, Premeditated, Significant

My emotions are so tumultuous and unpredictable that I like other things to be predictable.
I like planning, even though I know they're likely to be revised or cancelled.

I want everything to be carefully contemplated and placed just so.
I want nothing I carry to be meaningless. Everything needs to have a meaning, even if just to me.
I want everything in my bag to be premeditated. I want it to be significant.

The moment it's an accident is the moment I lose myself.
I do that enough, as it is.