Oh shit. I never ordered my laptop. Well, fuck.
Anyway, one of my dad's best friends from when we lived in Euclid visited tonight, as did his new wife.
We played card games alllll night. It was very fun.
I am reallllly hoping I finish Tim's birthday gift tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere nearly all day, so it should be possible.
I also need to finish reading that book for Arabic. I'm 1/5 through it. It's not bad, really.
For some reason, Starbucks.com isn't letting me transfer the funds from my two other Starbucks cards, which I received for Christmas. WOOT CAFFEINE!!! :))
Anyway, school starts back up soon. I'm having trouble believing it. I am never ready for it. But oh well. C'est la vie. I'll do what I must. Though Tim and I are really getting serious about our musical project. Nothing much is done yet, but keep an eye on our myspace and bandcamp sites! We will have some tracks soon, if all goes well. :))
Friday, December 31, 2010
Thursday, December 30, 2010
What a Wonderful Visit
Sorry about my absence!
I just got back from visiting the wonderful Tim and his family. I didn't quite get his birthday gift done, but I'm working on it. It was a fantastic visit nonetheless.
All is well. Post-Christmas hasn't been bad. Tim and I visited my uncle in Cleveland yesterday, then I spent the night and today in Garrettsville. My parents are STILL out, at a party (which is hilarious to me), and I am about to do a little more work on Tim's gift before calling it a night. What a wonderful feeling. :))
I just got back from visiting the wonderful Tim and his family. I didn't quite get his birthday gift done, but I'm working on it. It was a fantastic visit nonetheless.
All is well. Post-Christmas hasn't been bad. Tim and I visited my uncle in Cleveland yesterday, then I spent the night and today in Garrettsville. My parents are STILL out, at a party (which is hilarious to me), and I am about to do a little more work on Tim's gift before calling it a night. What a wonderful feeling. :))
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Day Home #4?
I already can't remember what number I'm on. And I'm too lazy to check. Oh well!
This is the first time I've been online today. I spent my whole day preparing Tim's gift and reading. House of Leaves, motherfuckers!
Um. Not much planned for tomorrow, either. Just wanted to check in. :)
This is the first time I've been online today. I spent my whole day preparing Tim's gift and reading. House of Leaves, motherfuckers!
Um. Not much planned for tomorrow, either. Just wanted to check in. :)
Monday, December 20, 2010
Day Home #2
Yeah. I finished Infinite Jest today! I read for 5 hours straight, and conquered it! And HOLY SHIT let me tell you, it is PHENOMENAL! One of the top 5 books I've ever read.
Anyway, today was interesting. Nothing bad, really. I was just...off. But my family was tolerable. Aaaand Mom and I decided we're going out for martini's on Thursday? Go figure!
I am definitely insecure today, with very low self-esteem, but I know it'll calm down soon.
I know everything will be ok; I just have trouble believing it.
What is it about being at home that makes me such a bitch?
I feel like I regress to this depressed, unsure, lonely, asshole of a person when I'm here.
I hate it.
So yeah. I finished the book, watched The Hangover with my family (yes, my WHOLE family---another WTF?!), was an ass, booked spring break tickets for Tim and myself, apologized, was forgiven, and here I am. Time to watch some Dexter on Netflix and/or read, then go to sleep.
I was hoping to get my Christmas presents wrapped tonight, buuuuut extraneous factors were present.
Tomorrow's goals: Wrap Christmas gifts, secret plans, read, Black Swan with Sebbie. <3
Anyway, today was interesting. Nothing bad, really. I was just...off. But my family was tolerable. Aaaand Mom and I decided we're going out for martini's on Thursday? Go figure!
I am definitely insecure today, with very low self-esteem, but I know it'll calm down soon.
I know everything will be ok; I just have trouble believing it.
What is it about being at home that makes me such a bitch?
I feel like I regress to this depressed, unsure, lonely, asshole of a person when I'm here.
I hate it.
So yeah. I finished the book, watched The Hangover with my family (yes, my WHOLE family---another WTF?!), was an ass, booked spring break tickets for Tim and myself, apologized, was forgiven, and here I am. Time to watch some Dexter on Netflix and/or read, then go to sleep.
I was hoping to get my Christmas presents wrapped tonight, buuuuut extraneous factors were present.
Tomorrow's goals: Wrap Christmas gifts, secret plans, read, Black Swan with Sebbie. <3
UPDATED Winter Break To Do List:
Finish Infinite Jest- Finish Tim's birthday gifts
- Kiva Loans
- Wrap Christmas Presents
- Buy a new laptop
Back up my external hard driveBook Spring Break tickets- Update my podcasts
- Organize my iTunes
- Download some music
- Work on building my Reddit frontpage
- Scholarships
- Work on music for ( . Y . )
- Read lots of books
- Watch a few movies
- Find a French online friend
Sunday, December 19, 2010
ALMOST. DONE.
HEY.
It is hella late, and I did not quite finish Infinite Jest, but I will do so tomorrow.
The rest of the evening was pretty frustrating, but not as shitty as the morning.
As soon as we got back from grocery shopping, we left straight away for my sister's gymnastics meet--which lasted five and a half hours.
Thennnn my family ate out for the SECOND time today (and are going to do so again tomorrow....UGHHHH).
Then we came home, ate our McDonald's (ewwww), and watched Big Bang Theory episodes from the past two weeks.
Then, I finished up some details of a couple Christmas gifts, then snuggled in for doing my damnedest to finish Infinite Jest. Alas, I found myself feigning consciousness, so I have stopped with 132 pages left. I WILL CONQUER IT TOMORROW! I AM DETERMINED!
Anyway, look forward to another update tomorrow.
Oh, btw, rip DADT----NOT!!!!
I <3 Queers
It is hella late, and I did not quite finish Infinite Jest, but I will do so tomorrow.
The rest of the evening was pretty frustrating, but not as shitty as the morning.
As soon as we got back from grocery shopping, we left straight away for my sister's gymnastics meet--which lasted five and a half hours.
Thennnn my family ate out for the SECOND time today (and are going to do so again tomorrow....UGHHHH).
Then we came home, ate our McDonald's (ewwww), and watched Big Bang Theory episodes from the past two weeks.
Then, I finished up some details of a couple Christmas gifts, then snuggled in for doing my damnedest to finish Infinite Jest. Alas, I found myself feigning consciousness, so I have stopped with 132 pages left. I WILL CONQUER IT TOMORROW! I AM DETERMINED!
Anyway, look forward to another update tomorrow.
Oh, btw, rip DADT----NOT!!!!
I <3 Queers
Saturday, December 18, 2010
Losing It.
I am fucking losing it.
I have been home less than 24 hours, and I am already going insane.
I just want to scream, and in fact, I have!
What the fuck? Aren't people supposed to like going home? Isn't break supposed to be relaxing or at least productive?
I've already written about yesterday, so let me tell you about the 3 hours I have been awake so far today.
Truth: all I want to do is read a fucking book.
I JUST WANT TO READ A FUCKING BOOK. How hard is it to settle in with a cup of tea and read a fucking book?!
Today (a.k.a. the past 3 hours) has been fucking ridiculous.
Well, it all started with a dentist appointment. I mean, that was normal. I expected it. In fact, I was glad to have it, because that meant I would get up early enough to accomplish something. HA!
So my dad had an appointment at the same time. Cool. Not bad. It meant I didn't have to drive.
It was also the only time today I've had a chance to read at all, but the tv in the waiting room was so damn loud I got maybe 2 pages done.
My dad came out of his appointment and told me that Mom is picking him up because they're going to a gathering with some of their church group.
She rolled down her window and told me that she had some papers that needed graded and that if I could do that it would be great. To the untrained ear, it sounds like she's just asking me to do it if I have time, but really she'll just bitch about how no one ever helps her and make the atmosphere of the house even worse if I don't do it, so I'm kind of stuck in it. So, yeah, I haven't even gotten to that yet, but it's another piece of shit I need to do.
So I had the car. I took the opportunity to go to Joann's and look around for some fabric for a dress I wanted to make. Of course, I'm there for 5 minutes when I get a phone call from my dad saying he misunderstood and it was only a gathering for Mom and I needed to drive 15 minutes out to a neighboring city to pick him up. I hadn't eaten yet, and it was about 12:30pm.
So I do that. Then my dad decides that we need to eat. So we picked up Chipotle for him, Amanda, and me.
We went home. We ate. I sit down to start reading and my dog knocks over a can of pop onto the new carpet.
I get to start reading, and my dad comes in, talking to me in circles about something I need to do and KNOW I need to do, but just keeps going and going and going in circles.
Again, I sit down to start reading and my sister asks me to proofread a sonnet she has to write for English.
I'm sitting there proofreading it, and it doesn't make sense. Turns out her English teacher never taught them what a sonnet was, but told them to write one. So I have to teach her what it is and walk her through how to properly write one.
Meanwhile, my dad is running around the house, screaming "I get to annoy you alllll week!!!!!" I just lose it. I just yell, "I've been home for less than 24 hours, and I'm already going INSANE! All I want to do is read a damn book and I can't even do that! I'M GOING INSANE!"
If my mom were home, I'd never be able to do that.
So I sit down to start reading YET AGAIN, and I get a text from my mom saying we need to go to the grocery store. Aaaaand here I am now. That's why I'm writing this entry instead of reading: because I'll start reading, and she'll immediately pull into the driveway.
So yes. It looks like I will be spending my evening in Starbucks. My goal for today is just to read. I don't fucking care about anything else. I will worry about my crafts and grading papers tomorrow. JESUS CHRIST.
This is why I hate coming home. I can never get anything done. I can never relax. I always have instructions and requests and commands shouted at me 24/7. It is fucking ridiculous.
I HAVE THINGS TO DO TOO, YOU KNOW!
I absolutely hate coming home. I absolutely hate the holidays.
Jesus Christ. I hate this place.
I have been home less than 24 hours, and I am already going insane.
I just want to scream, and in fact, I have!
What the fuck? Aren't people supposed to like going home? Isn't break supposed to be relaxing or at least productive?
I've already written about yesterday, so let me tell you about the 3 hours I have been awake so far today.
Truth: all I want to do is read a fucking book.
I JUST WANT TO READ A FUCKING BOOK. How hard is it to settle in with a cup of tea and read a fucking book?!
Today (a.k.a. the past 3 hours) has been fucking ridiculous.
Well, it all started with a dentist appointment. I mean, that was normal. I expected it. In fact, I was glad to have it, because that meant I would get up early enough to accomplish something. HA!
So my dad had an appointment at the same time. Cool. Not bad. It meant I didn't have to drive.
It was also the only time today I've had a chance to read at all, but the tv in the waiting room was so damn loud I got maybe 2 pages done.
My dad came out of his appointment and told me that Mom is picking him up because they're going to a gathering with some of their church group.
She rolled down her window and told me that she had some papers that needed graded and that if I could do that it would be great. To the untrained ear, it sounds like she's just asking me to do it if I have time, but really she'll just bitch about how no one ever helps her and make the atmosphere of the house even worse if I don't do it, so I'm kind of stuck in it. So, yeah, I haven't even gotten to that yet, but it's another piece of shit I need to do.
So I had the car. I took the opportunity to go to Joann's and look around for some fabric for a dress I wanted to make. Of course, I'm there for 5 minutes when I get a phone call from my dad saying he misunderstood and it was only a gathering for Mom and I needed to drive 15 minutes out to a neighboring city to pick him up. I hadn't eaten yet, and it was about 12:30pm.
So I do that. Then my dad decides that we need to eat. So we picked up Chipotle for him, Amanda, and me.
We went home. We ate. I sit down to start reading and my dog knocks over a can of pop onto the new carpet.
I get to start reading, and my dad comes in, talking to me in circles about something I need to do and KNOW I need to do, but just keeps going and going and going in circles.
Again, I sit down to start reading and my sister asks me to proofread a sonnet she has to write for English.
I'm sitting there proofreading it, and it doesn't make sense. Turns out her English teacher never taught them what a sonnet was, but told them to write one. So I have to teach her what it is and walk her through how to properly write one.
Meanwhile, my dad is running around the house, screaming "I get to annoy you alllll week!!!!!" I just lose it. I just yell, "I've been home for less than 24 hours, and I'm already going INSANE! All I want to do is read a damn book and I can't even do that! I'M GOING INSANE!"
If my mom were home, I'd never be able to do that.
So I sit down to start reading YET AGAIN, and I get a text from my mom saying we need to go to the grocery store. Aaaaand here I am now. That's why I'm writing this entry instead of reading: because I'll start reading, and she'll immediately pull into the driveway.
So yes. It looks like I will be spending my evening in Starbucks. My goal for today is just to read. I don't fucking care about anything else. I will worry about my crafts and grading papers tomorrow. JESUS CHRIST.
This is why I hate coming home. I can never get anything done. I can never relax. I always have instructions and requests and commands shouted at me 24/7. It is fucking ridiculous.
I HAVE THINGS TO DO TOO, YOU KNOW!
I absolutely hate coming home. I absolutely hate the holidays.
Jesus Christ. I hate this place.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Day Home #1
This is yet another project that I will never finish, but here goes!
I am going to attempt to blog every night from now until I return to Columbus, excluding December 24, 25, and 28. Those nights are non-Internet nights.
Anyway, today.
I woke up, spent a little bit of time with Tim.
Tim's dad drove us back home. Dropped me off, thankfully, since my family had sooo much stuff they had to do.
I read a bit of Infinite Jest on the way, but I am super behind. I was hoping to read 50 pages a day, which would have me finishing the book by Monday night. Buuuut I am about 150 pages behind at this point.
Then I got lots of oatmeal from Giant Eagle and finished my Christmas shopping (at Giant Eagle...) and came home.
I was planning on just spending a nice relaxing night at home reading, but AL CAME OVER! We watched this godawful Zooey Deschannel movie. Oh man. So bad.
Anyway, now time to get back to reading and working on Tim's birthday gift. And chatting with a drunken Carol, haha.
Winter Break To Do List:
I am going to attempt to blog every night from now until I return to Columbus, excluding December 24, 25, and 28. Those nights are non-Internet nights.
Anyway, today.
I woke up, spent a little bit of time with Tim.
Tim's dad drove us back home. Dropped me off, thankfully, since my family had sooo much stuff they had to do.
I read a bit of Infinite Jest on the way, but I am super behind. I was hoping to read 50 pages a day, which would have me finishing the book by Monday night. Buuuut I am about 150 pages behind at this point.
Then I got lots of oatmeal from Giant Eagle and finished my Christmas shopping (at Giant Eagle...) and came home.
I was planning on just spending a nice relaxing night at home reading, but AL CAME OVER! We watched this godawful Zooey Deschannel movie. Oh man. So bad.
Anyway, now time to get back to reading and working on Tim's birthday gift. And chatting with a drunken Carol, haha.
Winter Break To Do List:
- Finish Infinite Jest
- Finish Tim's birthday gifts
- Kiva Loans
- Wrap Christmas Presents
- Buy a new laptop
- Back up my external hard drive
- Update my podcasts
- Organize my iTunes
- Download some music
- Work on building my Reddit frontpage
- Scholarships
- Work on music for ( . Y . )
- Read lots of books
- Watch a few movies
- Find a French online friend
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
What are you trying to prove?
I don't understand you.
What are you trying to prove?
Because all you're proving to me is that you're a child who holds a grudge.
Well guess what. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU HATE ME.
If it was even me that performed such a heinous act against you, no one died because of it, no one got sick, no one lost a job, no one is starving, no hearts were broken. So what the fuck does it matter?
You are going to hold onto this grudge for your entire life. And it will destroy you.
But guess what. It won't destroy me. Why? Because I can let go.
You were my best friend in the entire world. I never meant any harm to you in any way. I don't even know what I did! But whatever it was, I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry you got hurt. Even though you think it only hurt you, it hurt me because guess what. In my eyes, YOU abandoned ME. So please, let's forget about all the pain we shared with each other, let's forget about all the wonderful times we had together, and let's forget that neither of us would even be alive without the other.
Did you also forget that I was the one who told you to ask Kayla out for a date in the first place?
I am done uselessly crying about you.
Tell your mom congrats on her wedding for me.
You're a cunt.
Your heart is cold.
I hope you never read this, because I don't want to speak with you.
What are you trying to prove?
Because all you're proving to me is that you're a child who holds a grudge.
Well guess what. I STILL HAVE NO IDEA WHY YOU HATE ME.
If it was even me that performed such a heinous act against you, no one died because of it, no one got sick, no one lost a job, no one is starving, no hearts were broken. So what the fuck does it matter?
You are going to hold onto this grudge for your entire life. And it will destroy you.
But guess what. It won't destroy me. Why? Because I can let go.
You were my best friend in the entire world. I never meant any harm to you in any way. I don't even know what I did! But whatever it was, I'm sorry it happened. I'm sorry you got hurt. Even though you think it only hurt you, it hurt me because guess what. In my eyes, YOU abandoned ME. So please, let's forget about all the pain we shared with each other, let's forget about all the wonderful times we had together, and let's forget that neither of us would even be alive without the other.
Did you also forget that I was the one who told you to ask Kayla out for a date in the first place?
I am done uselessly crying about you.
Tell your mom congrats on her wedding for me.
You're a cunt.
Your heart is cold.
I hope you never read this, because I don't want to speak with you.
Friday, December 10, 2010
Again and Again I Dream
I had another dream about you last night.
We met again at school and realized it was all a big misunderstanding.
You smiled at me.
I wish you hadn't. I'm tired of you hurting me.
We met again at school and realized it was all a big misunderstanding.
You smiled at me.
I wish you hadn't. I'm tired of you hurting me.
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