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Not a question, but I don't have a blogger account, so I can't comment on your entries, but I just wanted to say that It brought a smile to my face to see that you're doing well and have mostly landed on your feet.-Anonymous reader/personal cheerleader

Thank you so much. You have no idea how much that means to me. <3

What do you want to know? Ask me anything!

Midterms Already?!

Yes, yes, yes, the midterm season is beginning.

It's not that bad, though. I'm still not motivated, but I'm forcing myself to get my shit done, so whatever.

And TODAY'S MY MOMMA'S BIRTHDAY! I'm gonna call her later tonight. :)

I've been doing really well, lately. At least, compared to before. I'm feeling pretty stable.

Last night I was up until 2am writing a paper for my Foreign Policy Decision-Making class. It was epic, and I have yet to go back and edit it. It's due tomorrow, so I'll do some editing later tonight.

But that is my only paper for the whole quarter! Just exams and homework!

I'm a bit worried to see how I do on that paper. It's worth over 1/3 of the course's grade. But I worked hard on it and, unlike most of my other papers, I'm going to be legitimately revising it later tonight, once Jenni finishes reading it over first.

I'm doing really well with the breakup. Looking back, he wasn't that great. He wasn't interesting. I realized that everything funny he said was from either The Chappelle Show or How I Met Your Mother or recalling something he said while drunk or high as a kite. So what if he liked the same music as me and not only had seen The Fountain but LIKED it, he was a boring motherfucker.

I do feel like the reason I finally came to this realization was because he said he really wanted to stay friends then wouldn't answer phone calls or respond to messages. But hey, if he can't be honest with me, then I don't want him as a friend at all.

It's weird because I'd always get angry at him for something-or-other, then when he finally picked up or called back, I'd realize I was being a bitch and angry for no reason. Well, the last contact I received from him proved me otherwise, and I was only looking for an excuse to really be done with him.

I've missed him and wish he were still my friend, but I do think I'm past that.

I had so many fantastic memories with him.

It's a pity, though. He could've been such a great person.

I hope he becomes it some day.

Anyway, I'm starting to try to delve into things that make me happy, or at least keep telling myself they do.

I'm having a lot of trouble finding things that aren't just making me externally happy. Because those things are all just shallow, in my eyes. I want internal happiness. Hopefully I'll get there. Eventually. If not, I hope I enjoy my journey. That's all I could ever hope.

In other news, my research position is great! I work with some fantastic people.

Naturally, I'm afraid to talk to people I don't know, but I'm getting there. At least I can make casual conversation with the guy whose little office I share. I wish I could be better at it, though. Fucking hate my anxiety. >.<

La la la, so, yeah. Nothing much to do. I actually finished all my schoolwork for today [EGADS!] so I took some time out to do this. :)

Oh, Project Runway, here I come. I hate working Thursday nights. I always miss it.

Soonish off to get food and read for awhile. I like my alone time.

*sigh* It's been a peaceful day, despite the severe lack of sleep I've been getting.

Much love to all of you, my few readers. <3

First Week of Winter Quarter 2010

I have successfully completed Week One of Winter Quarter 2010.

It's been a very simple week.

As my previous update stated, my classes aren't going to be too bad.

I worked both jobs for the first time this quarter since my last post.

Things at the library are good, as usual, and I really like the people I work with at the pizza place.

And I am also making an effort to talk to people I don't know at both work and in class!

I'm really proud of myself, though my anxiety about it is nowhere near gone. I've been told by my psychoanalyst that I should push myself to do so, and eventually I will see that there's no reason to be anxious about it and it will be gone.

The weekend was fan-fucking-tastic!

Friday, Sebastian came to visit! We played Scrabble and watched Children of Men and stuffs.

The next day, we went out to the abandoned Polaris Amphitheatre and I helped him expand his portfolio by modeling in the cold. The place was fantastic! I neglected to bring my camera, but it was gorgeous! Early, cold, but beautiful. The rest of that Saturday consisted of eating and watching the first season of How I Met Your Mother in it's entirety. Very, very enjoyable.

Today, we got up, Sebbie left, and now I must do homework and the undergraduate research position application. Ate breakfast, laundry's in the dryer, got some groceries, took my vitamins, drinking coffee, though I still need to do my homework, update my résumé, write a cover letter for the position, wash dishes, fold my laundry, read my book.

It has been an extremely enjoyable weekend, but now it's time to plug in some music and go to town on my homework.

And also, see if I can find a decently-priced sunlight simulator lamp. Yay Vitamin D!

Just to let you know, I don't get on facebook much anymore, so if you want to talk to me, I'm on AIM: emicort12.

Also, use that formspring.me thing on the left side! Ask me anything! :)

So Winter 2010 Begins

School has officially begun.

I have been to each of this quarter's classes.

I think it's going to be a relatively easy quarter.

There is one class that will be intellectually stimulating, but nothing overly difficult, I don't know.

I'm taking 15 credit hours. AKA 3 classes.

Plus my 2 part-time jobs, both of which cut my hours.

And working on reviewing Arabic.

All in addition to this thesis on which I'm trying to make progress.

My classes are fun. I really like them.

Class 1 is my obligatory Arabic class. This quarter it's Arabic 411: Colloquial Arabic I. I've had the professor before, so I know his teaching style. And though I struggle with listening and speaking, I'm going to do my best to keep up. I don't think it'll be bad, as long as I stick to keeping up with it.

Class 2 is International Studies 245: Intro to the Modern Middle East. It will be really interesting and very easy, since I am already familiar with a lot.

Class 3 is Political Science 545: Foreign Policy Decision-Making. It's taught by the head of the Poli Sci department, and I really like him. It's going to be very interesting, though perhaps a bit difficult, but it such a way as to make it enjoyable.

There are no papers in any of the classes. Just lectures and exams and thinking. I don't get out from final exams until the very last day, once again, but oh well. More time to pick up some shifts. I'll need it.

I really didn't feel like I was ready to return to school.

I wanted nothing to do with my life in Columbus yet.

But now that I'm here, I'm doing alright. I think it's yet another example of not wanting things to change, but knowing they're a necessity in life and the only way in which you grow. So I force myself to embrace it when it comes my way.

Right now, though, I'm feeling really introverted. A little pensive. Nothing bad. But I just don't know why. Oh well. I'm going to use it as an opportunity for me-time and to get some work done early. Lovely. :)

Side Note: I am wearing a bra I bought for $2 at Marc's and which hooks in the front. Win. xD