IRL? If I must...

Real life interaction contains far too many factors to allow me to be comfortable. Here are a few.

Environment. You are outside of your normal environment. It is not a controlled space. There are an infinite number of factors that could potentially occur. Not to mention distractions. And other people. The arrival of each additional person brings up another infinite list of possible turns the situation can take.

Plus, the concerns of safety. The reason the environment is not the normal one is because you want to meet people in a public space. I won't be alone in a person's apartment or in hir car. I can't stop anything negative from happening, if that is the intent. I also don't like people knowing where I live. I don't want them to know where to find me. I like to be in control of if/when they can get ahold of me. Which is also why I shy away from giving my phone number. I can't stop a person from texting me. But I can choose when to open letters or emails.

Body language. Suddenly you have to monitor not only the body language of the person with whom you're interacting, but you have to keep track of your own. You spend all your time trying to make sure you're not resting your flailing body parts in any type of position that would be even vaguely perceived as flirting. You're monitoring the way the other person is carrying hirself. You can't enjoy the interaction because you're constantly keeping tabs on all of the other things.

Schedule. Since I'm a mail carrier, I am up at 5:30am every day. I am in bed before 10 every night. Most people aren't even home from work by the time I'm having dinner, let alone ready to hang out. My schedule does not coexist with many others'. It seems silly--not to mention incredibly exhausting--to stay up later and mess with my sleep cycle in order to have a high-anxiety interaction with another person, which often leaves me completely depleted of energy.

That's just the tip of the iceberg. It's really quite complex.

People ask me why I'm going to be a therapist if I don't like interacting with people. That is an extremely different situation. Short Answer: Those interactions occur in a contained and familiar environment. Its purpose is defined. The boundaries are pre-set. The relationship is clear. The duration of the interaction is predetermined. There are fewer undefined variables.

I refer to interactions with one person because I avoid interactions with multiple people like the plague. I don't even like to interact with one person around other people, i.e. coffee shops, bars, restaurants, etc.

Without the Internet, I would be living a terrible world of unpleasant IRL interactions and never meeting new people. Thanks to the Internet, I can socialize without the added anxiety of real life interaction. I can make these connections without having to worry about ulterior motives. Because no matter how many times I tell people before meeting up with them that I don't want a relationship, a date, or sex (yes, in those exact words), the message doesn't get through and I have to turn my cheek when ze go in for an unsolicited goodnight kiss.

Plus, who the fuck has time for that shit? I work eight hours a day, six days a week. Yoga three times a week, weights twice a week, and cardio three or more times a week. I schedule everything around my workouts. Why would I want to socialize with someone IRL if it means sacrificing my own priorities AND worrying about every single physical aspect of the interaction? No thanks!

Instead, I opt for correspondence. I fucking love letter writing. I enjoy emails and messages. I dabble in the field of gchat. Physical presence isn't important for me. In fact, I tire of it very quickly. But it is not necessary for building and maintaining a solid friendship.

In conclusion: just message me. ;)