2 Days

Lots of writing tonight.
Feeling crazy.

Missing everything.
Hating JP.
Missing JP.
Sick.

Summer At Its End

[Very] Quick Update!

School starts in less than a week.
I am freaking out.
My summer has been AMAZING.
I am stressed as fuck.
I just moved last week.
I have so much to do tonight. And tomorrow. And the day after. And the day after.
I am in love.
I hate school.
I've lost 3 pounds this summer, living on mac n cheese and cereal.
Tim's bike got stolen, which is hilarious because it has no brakes so no one would want it.
I wonder if they'll put it back.
I hope I can get everything done before school starts.
I hope I have time for me-time fun.
I hope I get to read a little.
I hope.
This weekend is going to be ridiculous.
K BAI.

Shit! It's September!

I only wrote once in August? Weird!
It was a very interesting, busy, amazing month. So I guess I just didn't care to take the time out of my life to write.

I've been doing lots of working, movie-watching, exploring, photo-taking, and loving life.

Pretty much, things are going really, extremely well. So as long as I ignore the fact that school's coming up quickly.
This weekend is going to be fucking epic as shit, though!

This week has be über stressful so far. I was totally freaking out because we're moving into our new place (and I haaate moving) and I had to figure out internet plans and set that up and set up utilities, and moving means more people will be in Columbus, which means lots of hanging out, which means time will go really fast, which means school will be here, which means I'll be depressed as shit until next summer. And I had other stuff on my plate, too, that was freaking me out because it's a lot! AHHHH!!!!

But I've been doing alright with it! I'm accepting that I can't stop time from progressing; I can only make the best of what time I have. It's just a mini installment of life.

I got all the utilities taken care of (which involved a few issues, which were resolved with long phone calls). I have a lot of stuff to do on my computer that I haven't gotten to yet, but I've gotten it started and there is a plan in place.

And this weekend--Labor Day Weekend--is gonna be busy as sheeyit! But hopefully enjoyable. :)))
Thursday: I am going to work, then leaving 3 hours early (a 5 hour work day isn't bad at all!), then "organizing" things at home, then my dad is coming, we will have dinner, then we will drive back to Hudson, where I will break out my fantastic camera and take photos and see 'lyssa (hopefully!) and just enjoy being alive.
Friday: I will be getting up early (ugh!) to do allll the shit I've gotta get done. Some of this includes a couple of surprises for a couple of amazing people. c:  A lot of this includes shopping for things I need desperately, cleaning out my desk, and preparing things for moving in 10 days. And going to the bank to adjust some stuffs. Then (hopefully!!!) having some time to do some stuff I want to do (which includes working on a mix I'm making) before heading out to Lake for the high school football game so I can watch my Ishy cheer. :3
Saturday: Getting up at a decent hour, finishing the shopping with Mom, then going to the family picnic in Youngstown, then flying solo on a quest to visit Tim's family (I hope they like meeee >.< ).
Sunday: Tim and me driving from his house to mine, having lunch with my family (I think?), then going to Coventry to explore and photograph! Then back to Hudson for playtime in the parks and cemeteries.
Monday: After a "leisurely breakfast", heading back home to Columbus, where I will freak out about work the next day. Oh, the joy of long weekends.

I really don't like visiting my family, in that I hate getting back home and immediately being thrust into another work week. I need time to do my own thing. It's great seeing family and friends (which doesn't really happen much because my numerous family picnics take over), but I like getting things done and being happy and stable. Alas, I will deal with the oddity in my schedule and enjoy the change of scene. :)


Also, sorry I'm taking so long to update my photo blog! I should be able to do that some time this weekend.
Keep an eye out, loves! XO

Near-End of Summer Update

The summer has been very turbulent, but it has all gone in waves. Right now it's rather calm, except for the worrying I'm doing about the upcoming school year. But I've decided that worry about it will do nothing, so yes. I am enjoying myself.

I am very happy right now, and it's great.

I just got a Nikon D5000 so I'm actually getting into photography like I've always wanted.
I've also fallen in love with lomography, so we'll see what happens the next time I get a paycheck. :)

And today, I successfully purchased 2 tickets to see Sufjan Stevens in Chicago in October!!!!
I am sooo lucky, because that shit sells out nearly instantaneously!!!
I'm so excited. :)

Anyway, I've started another blog that is entirely original photography. Like an online portfolio.
So yes. Check it out.

One of the Best Days Ever!

Today has been so epically awesome that I feel I need to blog about it!

Last night, we had a Brinner and Porn night.
That means, we invited some friends over, made pancakes, hashbrowns, and bacon for dinner, got drunk, and watched porn. It was fantastic.

Following that great night was a great day!

Meagan and I have been trying to go thrifting together since January, and something or other always got in the way.
So we FINALLY DID IT!

She picked me up, and we were both really hungry.
So we decided we'd stop to eat somewhere while we were out.
We'd settled on Chipotle when SUDDENLY an epiphany came to us: Indian food!
We just so happened to be passing Indian Kitchen at the time, and so we stopped for their $6.99 lunch buffet.
It was AWESOME. The chicken curry was great!!!!!

So after ingesting a food baby, we went to Goodwill.
And at Goodwill, we ran into her friends Alexis and Eric!
Goodwill was very good to me.
I spent $23 and got: a springform pan, a sheet to tie dye, a sewing box, aida cloth (for crosstitching), a secret item that will be used later, and 3 pairs of shoes!!!!
AND the quiet cashier hit on me! Well, sorta. After I'd checked out and was waiting by the door, said to Meagan. "You can tell your friend that I think she's cute."
WHAT A GREAT DAY! xD

After that, we headed back...  Well, I made a secret stop on the way, which means the surprise will be successful! And even THAT went well! Gotta love it when there's time still left on the meter when you park!

Then, as we were almost at our final destination, Meagan and I decided we were thirsty and wanted lemonade.
So we went to UDF.
Inside, they had 2 half gallons for $2!!! WHAT LUCK!
We bought 1 lemonade and 1 limeade. YUMM!!!

Then we went to Alexis's house. Where we smoked hookah and chilled and were ridiculous.

And now I'm here. It has been a fantastic day. :)))
Time to eat cereal and do some mending and watch Project Runway and some movies.
AND THE WEEKEND IS JUST BEGINNING!
Swimming tomorrow with Robot Sarah and Hang and Tim, then more funs!

Happy Friday :)

I just need to be alone.

Interesting Mental/Emotional Response

Hmm.

After a night of having fun with my friends and getting drunk (for the first time since March), I'm left feeling very odd.

Some of you will say "that's called a hangover" and change web pages before you even hear what I have to say. You, my friends, are assholes.

I'm feeling very disheartened and in low spirits.

I was sober by the time everyone settled down and I went to bed. I drank multiple bottles of water. I'm tired and irritable, but that's because I did not sleep well.

I am very down today. It's like... I want everyone to be happy, but I don't want to aid in them being happy. I don't want to talk to them about their problems; I don't even really feel like conversing about mine.

I'm feeling restless, yet lethargic, and it's maddening.

I don't know why I'm upset.

It's the weekend. I got some more psychology done today. I have nothing I really need to do today. I got to see some of my best friends yesterday. I am going swimming with friends tomorrow, then going to another great friends' for a themed party, then hanging with another friend.

Where is bad?

So I ask myself the question I always do when my emotions don't align with my life: why am I feeling like this?

Today, in this instance, this is the list I've come up with:

• Maybe I am just exhausted and bitchy and worrying about where/if I'll be sleeping tonight
• Maybe I am feeling the lack of excitement that was abundant yesterday
• Maybe it is a reaction to my friends visiting for a very short time
• Maybe it is a result of an issue that presented itself last night
• Maybe it is because the thing I was looking forward to has passed
• Maybe it is because alcohol changes the way the brain functions, even if only a little
• Maybe I am PMSing
• Maybe I am just being moody
• Maybe I need affection
• Maybe I need space
• Maybe I need something to do
• Maybe I need to sleep
• Maybe I need to cry

Who knows which, if any, is the cause of this. Either way, it's unpleasant, and I'm gonna do my best to get through today and hope my mood improves tomorrow.

Here's hoping.

The Time is Irrelevant

It's late/early; I'm pensive.

I'm not necessarily going to write a whole lot about what I'm thinking--that's what my journal is for.

I feel like I should keep my few readers updated as per my mental status.

I decided to change my major again.

I've dropped the political science major entirely. I simply do not see myself doing anything with it, and the classes interest me less and less.

I've decided to do what I should have done all along: psychology.

Yes, I know that a lot of the time, it is the cop-out major (along with English), but it's something that's always interested me. I can't believe I waited this long to decide to study it.

Plus, I can see myself doing something psychology- or social work-related, whereas I couldn't see myself doing anything with Arabic or political science.

Don't get me wrong! I'm still finishing my Arabic major, since I'm so close anyway, but I know I won't use it, so why lay my hopes so heavily on it?

Anyway, things are going well.

Since I dropped the poli sci major, I also dropped the class that would give me poli sci credit for my internship with Mondokio International News, LLC. So it's nice to have that extra time.

My psychology class isn't going badly. I'm behind on the work, but I've taken my first exam and now know what to expect. I'm not worried. I'm hoping to be done with all my studying by the end of next week, the week after at the latest. Then I shall have a full month and a half of no learning, just fun (and reading and music and yay!).

There are some ups and some downs, but they seem to be evening themselves out well.

Things are going well with walt, though they are a bit messy, but we're talking it all out, so it's not bad.

Things are going very well with another newer friend named Tim.

At this point in the summer, I'm really hoping to deal with my anxiety a bit better. My mood disorder is always a nuisance, but I've been doing alright with it lately. It hasn't bothered me too much in the past month. Anxiety-wise, I'm trying to stay calm about things that really bother me even though they shouldn't, things like missing the bus or being 5 minutes late to work (where the schedule is ridiculously flexible), dishes not being done, hair in the bathtub and on the sink, stuff like that. I've pretty much come to the conclusion (although there's always a chance of it changing, haha) that I am meant to live alone. I like things done in a certain way, and when it's not, I feel unorganized and mentally cluttered. I just need to chill. I'm trying to take the opportunity of summer and new friends to help me do this, and so far I think it's going alright? But really, what do I know. You'd have to tell me. :-P

Yes, yes. It it Saturday night, and I am watching a Coachella documetary. Don't judge my weekend activities, and I won't judge your frequent alcohol consumption. ;)

Goodnight, loves.

Derp.

Emotions run high; I am confused.

That's just how it goes. That's my pattern.

Depressed and with a negative outlook.

Not enjoying the fun things that are going on around me.

Dealing by writing and cleaning.

Maybe I'll go read and write for awhile.

I should do psychology. But I'm not going to.

Merp. :-\

Mean Tweeting

I am tweeting mean things about Molly. Well, not so much mean things, but silly things she's saying, especially as directed towards the cats, who are ceaselessly walking all over my stomach.

Anyway, things are rough, but they'll get better.

I have decided to drop my poli sci major completely and bump up my psych minor to a major.

Honestly, I love psychology. Why did this take me so long to pursue?