Wrapping Up Winter Break

Oh shit. I never ordered my laptop. Well, fuck.

Anyway, one of my dad's best friends from when we lived in Euclid visited tonight, as did his new wife.
We played card games alllll night. It was very fun.

I am reallllly hoping I finish Tim's birthday gift tomorrow. I'm not going anywhere nearly all day, so it should be possible.
I also need to finish reading that book for Arabic. I'm 1/5 through it. It's not bad, really.

For some reason, Starbucks.com isn't letting me transfer the funds from my two other Starbucks cards, which I received for Christmas. WOOT CAFFEINE!!! :))

Anyway, school starts back up soon. I'm having trouble believing it. I am never ready for it. But oh well. C'est la vie. I'll do what I must. Though Tim and I are really getting serious about our musical project. Nothing much is done yet, but keep an eye on our myspace and bandcamp sites! We will have some tracks soon, if all goes well. :))

What a Wonderful Visit

Sorry about my absence!

I just got back from visiting the wonderful Tim and his family. I didn't quite get his birthday gift done, but I'm working on it. It was a fantastic visit nonetheless.

All is well. Post-Christmas hasn't been bad. Tim and I visited my uncle in Cleveland yesterday, then I spent the night and today in Garrettsville. My parents are STILL out, at a party (which is hilarious to me), and I am about to do a little more work on Tim's gift before calling it a night. What a wonderful feeling. :))

Day Home #4?

I already can't remember what number I'm on. And I'm too lazy to check. Oh well!

This is the first time I've been online today. I spent my whole day preparing Tim's gift and reading. House of Leaves, motherfuckers!

Um. Not much planned for tomorrow, either. Just wanted to check in. :)

Day Home #2

Yeah. I finished Infinite Jest today! I read for 5 hours straight, and conquered it! And HOLY SHIT let me tell you, it is PHENOMENAL! One of the top 5 books I've ever read.

Anyway, today was interesting. Nothing bad, really. I was just...off. But my family was tolerable. Aaaand Mom and I decided we're going out for martini's on Thursday? Go figure!

I am definitely insecure today, with very low self-esteem, but I know it'll calm down soon.
I know everything will be ok; I just have trouble believing it.

What is it about being at home that makes me such a bitch?
I feel like I regress to this depressed, unsure, lonely, asshole of a person when I'm here.
I hate it.

So yeah. I finished the book, watched The Hangover with my family (yes, my WHOLE family---another WTF?!), was an ass, booked spring break tickets for Tim and myself, apologized, was forgiven, and here I am. Time to watch some Dexter on Netflix and/or read, then go to sleep.

I was hoping to get my Christmas presents wrapped tonight, buuuuut extraneous factors were present.

Tomorrow's goals: Wrap Christmas gifts, secret plans, read, Black Swan with Sebbie. <3

UPDATED Winter Break To Do List:

• Finish Infinite Jest
• Finish Tim's birthday gifts
• Kiva Loans
• Wrap Christmas Presents
• Buy a new laptop
• Back up my external hard drive
• Book Spring Break tickets
• Update my podcasts
• Organize my iTunes
• Download some music
• Work on building my Reddit frontpage
• Scholarships
• Work on music for ( . Y . )
• Read lots of books
• Watch a few movies
• Find a French online friend

ALMOST. DONE.

HEY.
It is hella late, and I did not quite finish Infinite Jest, but I will do so tomorrow.

The rest of the evening was pretty frustrating, but not as shitty as the morning.
As soon as we got back from grocery shopping, we left straight away for my sister's gymnastics meet--which lasted five and a half hours.
Thennnn my family ate out for the SECOND time today (and are going to do so again tomorrow....UGHHHH).
Then we came home, ate our McDonald's (ewwww), and watched Big Bang Theory episodes from the past two weeks.
Then, I finished up some details of a couple Christmas gifts, then snuggled in for doing my damnedest to finish Infinite Jest. Alas, I found myself feigning consciousness, so I have stopped with 132 pages left. I WILL CONQUER IT TOMORROW! I AM DETERMINED!

Anyway, look forward to another update tomorrow.

Oh, btw, rip DADT----NOT!!!!
I <3 Queers

Losing It.

I am fucking losing it.
I have been home less than 24 hours, and I am already going insane.
I just want to scream, and in fact, I have!

What the fuck? Aren't people supposed to like going home? Isn't break supposed to be relaxing or at least productive?
I've already written about yesterday, so let me tell you about the 3 hours I have been awake so far today.

Truth: all I want to do is read a fucking book.
I JUST WANT TO READ A FUCKING BOOK. How hard is it to settle in with a cup of tea and read a fucking book?!

Today (a.k.a. the past 3 hours) has been fucking ridiculous.
Well, it all started with a dentist appointment. I mean, that was normal. I expected it. In fact, I was glad to have it, because that meant I would get up early enough to accomplish something. HA!
So my dad had an appointment at the same time. Cool. Not bad. It meant I didn't have to drive.
It was also the only time today I've had a chance to read at all, but the tv in the waiting room was so damn loud I got maybe 2 pages done.
My dad came out of his appointment and told me that Mom is picking him up because they're going to a gathering with some of their church group.
She rolled down her window and told me that she had some papers that needed graded and that if I could do that it would be great. To the untrained ear, it sounds like she's just asking me to do it if I have time, but really she'll just bitch about how no one ever helps her and make the atmosphere of the house even worse if I don't do it, so I'm kind of stuck in it. So, yeah, I haven't even gotten to that yet, but it's another piece of shit I need to do.
So I had the car. I took the opportunity to go to Joann's and look around for some fabric for a dress I wanted to make. Of course, I'm there for 5 minutes when I get a phone call from my dad saying he misunderstood and it was only a gathering for Mom and I needed to drive 15 minutes out to a neighboring city to pick him up. I hadn't eaten yet, and it was about 12:30pm.
So I do that. Then my dad decides that we need to eat. So we picked up Chipotle for him, Amanda, and me.
We went home. We ate. I sit down to start reading and my dog knocks over a can of pop onto the new carpet.
I get to start reading, and my dad comes in, talking to me in circles about something I need to do and KNOW I need to do, but just keeps going and going and going in circles.
Again, I sit down to start reading and my sister asks me to proofread a sonnet she has to write for English.
I'm sitting there proofreading it, and it doesn't make sense. Turns out her English teacher never taught them what a sonnet was, but told them to write one. So I have to teach her what it is and walk her through how to properly write one.
Meanwhile, my dad is running around the house, screaming "I get to annoy you alllll week!!!!!" I just lose it. I just yell, "I've been home for less than 24 hours, and I'm already going INSANE! All I want to do is read a damn book and I can't even do that! I'M GOING INSANE!"
If my mom were home, I'd never be able to do that.
So I sit down to start reading YET AGAIN, and I get a text from my mom saying we need to go to the grocery store. Aaaaand here I am now. That's why I'm writing this entry instead of reading: because I'll start reading, and she'll immediately pull into the driveway.

So yes. It looks like I will be spending my evening in Starbucks. My goal for today is just to read. I don't fucking care about anything else. I will worry about my crafts and grading papers tomorrow. JESUS CHRIST.

This is why I hate coming home. I can never get anything done. I can never relax. I always have instructions and requests and commands shouted at me 24/7. It is fucking ridiculous.
I HAVE THINGS TO DO TOO, YOU KNOW!
I absolutely hate coming home. I absolutely hate the holidays.
Jesus Christ. I hate this place.

Day Home #1

This is yet another project that I will never finish, but here goes!
I am going to attempt to blog every night from now until I return to Columbus, excluding December 24, 25, and 28. Those nights are non-Internet nights.

Anyway, today.
I woke up, spent a little bit of time with Tim.
Tim's dad drove us back home. Dropped me off, thankfully, since my family had sooo much stuff they had to do.
I read a bit of Infinite Jest on the way, but I am super behind. I was hoping to read 50 pages a day, which would have me finishing the book by Monday night. Buuuut I am about 150 pages behind at this point.
Then I got lots of oatmeal from Giant Eagle and finished my Christmas shopping (at Giant Eagle...) and came home.
I was planning on just spending a nice relaxing night at home reading, but AL CAME OVER! We watched this godawful Zooey Deschannel movie. Oh man. So bad.
Anyway, now time to get back to reading and working on Tim's birthday gift. And chatting with a drunken Carol, haha.

Winter Break To Do List:

• Finish Infinite Jest
• Finish Tim's birthday gifts
• Kiva Loans
• Wrap Christmas Presents
• Buy a new laptop
• Back up my external hard drive
• Update my podcasts
• Organize my iTunes
• Download some music
• Work on building my Reddit frontpage
• Scholarships
• Work on music for ( . Y . )
• Read lots of books
• Watch a few movies
• Find a French online friend

Shit! It's September!

I only wrote once in August? Weird!
It was a very interesting, busy, amazing month. So I guess I just didn't care to take the time out of my life to write.

I've been doing lots of working, movie-watching, exploring, photo-taking, and loving life.

Pretty much, things are going really, extremely well. So as long as I ignore the fact that school's coming up quickly.
This weekend is going to be fucking epic as shit, though!

This week has be über stressful so far. I was totally freaking out because we're moving into our new place (and I haaate moving) and I had to figure out internet plans and set that up and set up utilities, and moving means more people will be in Columbus, which means lots of hanging out, which means time will go really fast, which means school will be here, which means I'll be depressed as shit until next summer. And I had other stuff on my plate, too, that was freaking me out because it's a lot! AHHHH!!!!

But I've been doing alright with it! I'm accepting that I can't stop time from progressing; I can only make the best of what time I have. It's just a mini installment of life.

I got all the utilities taken care of (which involved a few issues, which were resolved with long phone calls). I have a lot of stuff to do on my computer that I haven't gotten to yet, but I've gotten it started and there is a plan in place.

And this weekend--Labor Day Weekend--is gonna be busy as sheeyit! But hopefully enjoyable. :)))
Thursday: I am going to work, then leaving 3 hours early (a 5 hour work day isn't bad at all!), then "organizing" things at home, then my dad is coming, we will have dinner, then we will drive back to Hudson, where I will break out my fantastic camera and take photos and see 'lyssa (hopefully!) and just enjoy being alive.
Friday: I will be getting up early (ugh!) to do allll the shit I've gotta get done. Some of this includes a couple of surprises for a couple of amazing people. c:  A lot of this includes shopping for things I need desperately, cleaning out my desk, and preparing things for moving in 10 days. And going to the bank to adjust some stuffs. Then (hopefully!!!) having some time to do some stuff I want to do (which includes working on a mix I'm making) before heading out to Lake for the high school football game so I can watch my Ishy cheer. :3
Saturday: Getting up at a decent hour, finishing the shopping with Mom, then going to the family picnic in Youngstown, then flying solo on a quest to visit Tim's family (I hope they like meeee >.< ).
Sunday: Tim and me driving from his house to mine, having lunch with my family (I think?), then going to Coventry to explore and photograph! Then back to Hudson for playtime in the parks and cemeteries.
Monday: After a "leisurely breakfast", heading back home to Columbus, where I will freak out about work the next day. Oh, the joy of long weekends.

I really don't like visiting my family, in that I hate getting back home and immediately being thrust into another work week. I need time to do my own thing. It's great seeing family and friends (which doesn't really happen much because my numerous family picnics take over), but I like getting things done and being happy and stable. Alas, I will deal with the oddity in my schedule and enjoy the change of scene. :)


Also, sorry I'm taking so long to update my photo blog! I should be able to do that some time this weekend.
Keep an eye out, loves! XO

First Week of Winter Quarter 2010

I have successfully completed Week One of Winter Quarter 2010.

It's been a very simple week.

As my previous update stated, my classes aren't going to be too bad.

I worked both jobs for the first time this quarter since my last post.

Things at the library are good, as usual, and I really like the people I work with at the pizza place.

And I am also making an effort to talk to people I don't know at both work and in class!

I'm really proud of myself, though my anxiety about it is nowhere near gone. I've been told by my psychoanalyst that I should push myself to do so, and eventually I will see that there's no reason to be anxious about it and it will be gone.

The weekend was fan-fucking-tastic!

Friday, Sebastian came to visit! We played Scrabble and watched Children of Men and stuffs.

The next day, we went out to the abandoned Polaris Amphitheatre and I helped him expand his portfolio by modeling in the cold. The place was fantastic! I neglected to bring my camera, but it was gorgeous! Early, cold, but beautiful. The rest of that Saturday consisted of eating and watching the first season of How I Met Your Mother in it's entirety. Very, very enjoyable.

Today, we got up, Sebbie left, and now I must do homework and the undergraduate research position application. Ate breakfast, laundry's in the dryer, got some groceries, took my vitamins, drinking coffee, though I still need to do my homework, update my résumé, write a cover letter for the position, wash dishes, fold my laundry, read my book.

It has been an extremely enjoyable weekend, but now it's time to plug in some music and go to town on my homework.

And also, see if I can find a decently-priced sunlight simulator lamp. Yay Vitamin D!

Just to let you know, I don't get on facebook much anymore, so if you want to talk to me, I'm on AIM: emicort12.

Also, use that formspring.me thing on the left side! Ask me anything! :)

So Winter 2010 Begins

School has officially begun.

I have been to each of this quarter's classes.

I think it's going to be a relatively easy quarter.

There is one class that will be intellectually stimulating, but nothing overly difficult, I don't know.

I'm taking 15 credit hours. AKA 3 classes.

Plus my 2 part-time jobs, both of which cut my hours.

And working on reviewing Arabic.

All in addition to this thesis on which I'm trying to make progress.

My classes are fun. I really like them.

Class 1 is my obligatory Arabic class. This quarter it's Arabic 411: Colloquial Arabic I. I've had the professor before, so I know his teaching style. And though I struggle with listening and speaking, I'm going to do my best to keep up. I don't think it'll be bad, as long as I stick to keeping up with it.

Class 2 is International Studies 245: Intro to the Modern Middle East. It will be really interesting and very easy, since I am already familiar with a lot.

Class 3 is Political Science 545: Foreign Policy Decision-Making. It's taught by the head of the Poli Sci department, and I really like him. It's going to be very interesting, though perhaps a bit difficult, but it such a way as to make it enjoyable.

There are no papers in any of the classes. Just lectures and exams and thinking. I don't get out from final exams until the very last day, once again, but oh well. More time to pick up some shifts. I'll need it.

I really didn't feel like I was ready to return to school.

I wanted nothing to do with my life in Columbus yet.

But now that I'm here, I'm doing alright. I think it's yet another example of not wanting things to change, but knowing they're a necessity in life and the only way in which you grow. So I force myself to embrace it when it comes my way.

Right now, though, I'm feeling really introverted. A little pensive. Nothing bad. But I just don't know why. Oh well. I'm going to use it as an opportunity for me-time and to get some work done early. Lovely. :)

Side Note: I am wearing a bra I bought for $2 at Marc's and which hooks in the front. Win. xD