And The Moment Will Come When Composure Returns

Unfortunately, that moment is not now.

I'm having a really hard time.
I don't know what to do.
I'm so overwhelmed.
With friends.
With school.
With fear.
With depression.
I want more.
I want it to be right.
Anything.
Everything is crumbling.

My wonderful 'lyssa has made the offer to come take me away from it all, but I don't know whether or not I should take it.
I feel like, if I go home this weekend, I should go see Christian to try to straighten things out.
Plus, I have a midterm Monday.
But I know I won't study for it until Sunday night.
So really? Does it matter?
Or am I looking elsewhere for help when I should be isolating myself?
Is it a situation where, unless I deal with this on my own, no progress will be made?
I really don't know.

I should stay home and deal with things... But I don't really have any reason to stay besides this midterm, do I?
I don't have that much homework, really.
Not any homework I'm planning on doing, anyway.
I'll probably just sleep or mope or waste my weekend away if I stay here...
I really don't know.

I wish I had a magic 8 ball. I need someone to make a decision for me.
I need a to-do list, at the very least.
The only plan I have for the weekend is going to the Skull Session Saturday morning. But that's not set in stone.

And I need sleep.
But the only way I can feel not-depressed and slightly motivated is if I use chemicals: caffeine or alcohol.
And if I do that, I don't sleep.
Fuck.

What do I do?
Please, my few loyal and not-so-loyal blog readers, help me.

Sleep the Clock Around
Belle & Sebastian