Finally, Progress.

Last night was horrible.
I have Mrs. Thomson and my Alyssa to thank for helping me through it.
They are truly amazing.

Anyway, after my complete fall into depression, I took a nap, which nearly always makes me feel at least a little bit better.
Then I got up, did a tiny bit of Arabic, took a nice shower, then watched Project Runway and MULAN!! with lots of amazing friends (and some new ones, too!)
Naturally, Jacob was present for our asian movie viewing :P
And also, Aarthi sang and danced like a foo'. 'Twas precious and sooo fun.

Today has been great. I got up early to go to the doctor at the Integrative Medical Center.
The reason I'm using this to treat my anxiety is because I'm not really ok with taking a sedative to treat it, since it's not fixing the long-term problem. And also has a high risk of dependency.
This type of medicine I can get behind. Making sure your body is taken care of, so you're not fighting it in addition to the mental problems.
I'm really excited. FINALLY I have hope!
We're going to be using relaxation therapy, mostly meditation and self-hypnosis to reach a state of relaxation, and dietary therapy. Finally, something that really has a chance of working!
So once we treat the physical things, I will do better with my therapist.
Can't fix psychological things without first fixing the physical.

But yes.
I'm at work right now.
Meeting Molly & Aarthi for lunch, then going to get a tour of another apartment we're considering.
Then homework and shenanigans! Though I don't really know what shenanigans will occur... Probably just lots of homework and movies and coffee and ice cream. But those shenanigans are some of the best!

Alright! Back to work!
<3

Last Hours in Beirut

I am down to 3 hours in Beirut--or at least in Beirut outside of the airport--and I am spending them by catching up on emails and facebook and surveys and listening to music, soon I will embark upon finishing my copy of Palahniuk's Pygmy (so I can put it in my checked bag instead of carry-on... damn hardcover books!). The roommates are all out at the Pussycat Dolls concert and, though I'm definitely not a fan, I probably would've gone had I not been worried that I'd miss my driver to the airport. As Alyssa put it, "i think that would be a fun concert to go to if you were deaf. you know? just standin there watching the skanky ladies skank around."

Anyway, school ended very well today. I have completed the SINARC Summer 2009 program AND GOT A B+ ON MY FINAL EXAM IN FOUSHA!!! I'm ecstatic! And I was told that I did well in 3amiyya, so I am sooo happy!

I have had a wonderful time living with Kirsten again after 2 years and meeting so many new people. We really had a blast, and I absolutely love this city.

Honestly, sitting right here, reflecting, about to read, is really one of the best ways to end my stay here. No drinking, no being crazy, just a relaxing expression of love to the city while I soak up my last hours of the Lebanon in which I have been living for the past 6 weeks. I honestly, honestly love it here. I will return, inshallah.

Those time zones are gonna fucking suck. Oh well. I have lots of books from Aarthi to keep me happy :)

I am ready to return to the US, though. So many things to get worked out, so much to enjoy.

And I'm ready to be where I belong, if only for a short time.

PS, I bought all 3 of those Ghada Samman books today. I'm happy. :)

OH, and by the way, of COURSE the Flaming Lips are coming to Columbus on Sept. 18, when I have FUCKING OWL-C SHIT TO DO! I've been waiting for over FOUR FUCKING YEARS! UGGGHHHHHHHH!!!! >.<

2 Weeks Left :'-(

Holy shit.

I feel like I just hit the half-way mark.

Where the hell has the last week gone?!

I'm so torn about my time in Beirut coming to a close.

I absolutely love it here. Beirut is so amazing. And studying Arabic and also being in a place where I can practice it (despite the fact that everyone here speaks English) is great.

But I'm ready to get back to making money, not just spending it.

I'm ready to be done with school for awhile.

I'm ready to see Christian and Alyssa again.

What stinks is that I know I'll be going home to my family and having to deal with all that. I miss my sister, but I'm not fond of it.

It's so internally conflicting.

It's nice that I don't have to make a decision, that I'm for certain returning to the US on August 1st, but it doesn't help that I love it here so much and hate it there so much that it'll be so difficult. Not just to adjust to being in the States again, but to being with my family again.

I must admit, I am absolutely thrilled to be able to go spend nearly a week in PA with Christian as soon as I get home, then return home to cart Al around for his booze-filled 21st bday, but still. The rest of the situation is hard.

I am really worried that I won't have enough time.

I'm hoping it's like when I was home for a week before leaving for Lebanon, where I had a list of people I needed to see and didn't expect to see them all, yet somehow managed to do so.

But once I get home, I'll be working again.

Trying to get as many hours as possible.

Seeing lots of movies, and by lots I mean Transformers 2, Public Enemies, and Harry Potter (AS MANY TIMES AS POSSIBLE!), not to mention those people who are going to want me to take them to see them so they can get in for free...

I have people I need to see like Craig, who just got back from Japan, Trudgen, Al, and Emily, Christian, and of course, my 'lyssa.

Oh, right. And my family.

And since I don't start school until September, I'm hoping to go spend every free weekend moment with Christian and Trudgen at BW.

ALL being balanced around my work schedule!

I hope it all works out.

I have a feeling I'll be getting even less sleep than I do during the school year, but at least my brain will get a chance to rest, right?

Oh wait. I need to study Arabic so I can use this program to skip some classes and take a placement test as soon as I get back to OSU. Shit.

Oh well. I'll live. I can do it! I know I can. And even if I fail, I will have enjoyed it immensely. :)

Fuck, this upcoming school year is going to be a bitch. I need to get another job, especially since I want to visit my cousin in London during spring break and will be paying for gas to go visit Christian during the school year.

Bye bye piercings and tattoos. I really wanted that one in Latin. :-\

But I'm going to keep my chin up!

There are so many good shows coming around:

-->Perhaps mewithoutYou in Akron on August 17

-->Modest Mouse August 24 in Columbus with Christian

-->Show-hopping in Coventry on September 13 with Christian (the day before I move to Columbus)

-->Arctic Monkeys on September 28 at the Newport

-->Dinosaur Jr. October 10 at the Newport with James

-->Lewis Black October 17 in Philidelphia with Christian and Trudge (hopefully)

Plus whatever I get to see when in the UK in March!

C'est la vie :)

En route to Beirut

So, I left yesterday for Lebanon.

I hopped a plane from Cleveland to Dulles in DC, then to London, where I am currently in the business lounge, and will be departing for Beirut after a 5 hour layover.

Happily, my father used his frequent flier miles to secure my tickets, so I get first class and business class nearly the entire way. It's wonderful! Great food and BIG sleeping space! Yess!

I must admit that leaving was much more difficult than I had ever expected.

You see, Christian came to spend a week with me. He came Monday evening on a Greyhound from Pittsburgh to Akron, where My 'lyssa and I picked him up, and stayed until seeing me off at the airport.

It was horribly difficult leaving him, which I did not expect at all. I think it has something to do with us perhaps not being able to talk during the entire month of July. But he bought me a webcam so that we can chat (and so I can talk to Alyssa :-P ).

I am extremely excited to be going to Lebanon, though!

I am so ready to start studying Arabic again, for real.

And intensive Lebanese dialect courses! Hell yes!

I am so full of emotion.

So much emotion.

Many kinds.

I'm splitting at the seams.

I truly am.

Wow. & Arabic.

My classes are done for the day! wtf?!
It's so weird how much time I have when I don't go to work!
I'm going somewhere at 4:30 until 5:30, but other than that, clean day!
Maybe I'll get some of that hard-core econ studying done... I need to.

MIDTERM GRADES ARE BACK!
And the news is good (mostly)!
Physics: 93.33% --> I just need a 92% or above on the final for an A!
Arab Culture: 94.2% --> Won't be a problem ^_^
Arabic: 95%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! --> Just gotta retain all my vocab and learn conjugations
[Econ #1: 74%]
[Econ #2: TBD] }--> Just gotta haul ass.

I may actually be able to pull off a 4.0 this quarter!
And I fucking need it.
I've just gotta kick serious ass on econ. So I think I'll study for my Arabic quiz now, then do nothing but econ for the rest of the night.
JESUS! I'M SO PUMPED!!!!


And I loooove Arabic!
As I keep studying it, I love it more and more!
It's nearly all I think about.
I nearly think in the language!
All I want to do is speak it, find someone who does speak it, so I can converse in it regularly, outside of class.
I am helplessly in love with Arabic!
And the culture of those who speak it.
The food, the customs, the people, the traditions, everything!
Wow, I have found my true love.
And many tell me it is quite pathetic how obsessed with it I am.
I reallly want to get enough money to go to Lebanon this summer.
Or get the scholarship to go to Egypt.
Oh so very badly.
It is ridiculous.
Ah, I love it.


And this song has been stuck in my head all morning.
It's a slow one and a little twangy, but one of my favorites <3
The Decemberists: "After the Bombs"
104 Days ^_^