Winter Break

I started this blog a year ago this December.
A lot can happen in a year.
A lot can happen in 6 months.
A lot can happen in 2 weeks.
A lot can happen. Period.

I'm still having a lot of trouble. But I'm determined not to contact him until January.
I truly doubt he'll even care to call or IM or contact me in any way. I dunno.

Now I'm home. For 3 weeks.
Holy shit. What the hell am I gonna do?
This is going to be so damn boring.

On the drive home, I was already getting down.
I was supposed to be in his arms right now.
This whole next week was supposed to be perfect.
Instead, I'm home alone while my sister and mom are still in school.
Fuck. This.

I find myself beginning to turn to bitterness and anger because it makes things easier, but I know once I do that, I can't go back.

This is fucking hard.
I don't know what he's thinking or feeling.
I'm not entirely sure he knows either.
I still feel like I never got a real explanation.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

This is going to be a long break.