A Quick Thought: Cunt

I was thinking this afternoon (while making mac n cheese).

Cunt is one of my favorite words.

You can say it around children because:
1) parents don't teach that one to them and
2) even if they ask "What does that mean?" how many kids will know what you're talking about when you say "Oh, it means 'vagina'"?

That is all. :)

All Over the Place

My mood is all over the place.
Perhaps it's because I haven't taken my pills for days now.
Oh, that reminds me. I've gotta remember to pack those. Well, damn.

I mean, I'm really not looking horribly forward to this vacation, but I talked to my mom on the phone today, and she simply reassured me that she and Amanda and I are all on the same boat. I said something about not knowing how many books to bring, and she was like "Amanda and I were just trying to figure that out, too!"

So yes. That's making me feel much better.

I'm just going to try to look at the "vacation" as an adventure and some quality time with my sister. And with Beckie Cousin and Matt! That'll be swell! :)


I've had a pretty good day. Last night was tough, but today has been better. I've baked 2 cakes in 4 days, so I'm certainly gaining weight. But I figure once the novelty of cooking and actually having a kitchen wears off (and my Easter candy finally runs out!), I'll resume my typical eating habits. :-P

It's so nice to have Molly here. She's an absolute joy and hilarious to live with.

Like I said, today has been fantastic. We just finished watching Boogie Nights, which followed a couple hours of Scrubs and baking/eating a Funfetti cake with chocolate fudge frosting! And before that, Chipotle! (for the first time in QUITE awhile!) And before that, we watched Jesus camp (naturally a beer was necessary to get us through it.) And during the Scrubs episodes, I sewed 2 belts! I just have 1 to go!

So why don't I stop confusing you by going backwards, shall I?

Anyway, I've had a very productive and enjoyable day. Haven't had a chance to touch my guitar or flute yet, but I hope to in July. And I haven't finished the book I'm currently reading, which I wanted to finish before going home Monday, but I probably won't. I'll just be sure to finish it before I leave for Italy.

Tomorrow (today?), I need to pack, tidy up the apartment a little bit, and THE NEW PORNOGRAPHERS SHOW IN THE EVENING!!!!
I will probably make myself mac n cheese for breakfast, haha. Love it!

Anyway, I need to go wash my feet, get ready for bed, and do some reading. Hopefully kitten cuddles will follow.

Goodnight, my dear (and few) readers! <3

do you like lady gaga?!

YOU CAN BET LIAM NEESON'S ASS ON IT!

This is where you ask the questions you want answered. Or to make a random comment. Whatever the fuck you want to say.

have ya ever had sex with a lady?

Hahaha all I can think of is "Dude looks like a laaadaaaayyy!"
And no, haha.

This is where you ask the questions you want answered. Or to make a random comment. Whatever the fuck you want to say.

So you like piercings and you like corsets. What about corset piercings?

I think corset piercings are absolutely beautiful.

However, I cannot get past the impracticably of the piercing. Some piercings are only mildly invasive and/or take little adjustment, but I am far too clumsy to be able to wear clothing without tearing them out. Plus, it would hard-core bother me that I cannot see them well enough to take care of them while they heal.

So those who can have them and can take care of them correctly, I respect their dedication. And I love their body art.

I have a documentary called Modify, directed by Jason Gary, on my Netflix, actually. Can't wait to watch it! I watched one called A Jihad for Love last night. It's about the quest for gay Muslims to rectify Islam and their sexual orientation. I definitely recommend it.

Anyway, I hope I answered your question! Feel free to ask me more questions about piercings and body modification! It's a passion of mine, in theory if at not in practice. I wish I could, though!

This is where you ask the questions you want answered. Or to make a random comment. Whatever the fuck you want to say.

Will you be regaling us with play-by-play commentary of your trip?

Alas, I will not. I have little hope for Internet access in Sicily. We're getting to a hotel in Rome on the 26th, and they /will/ have internet, but I'm not sure how much time I will have, since we will all be sharing my dad's computer.

I apologize that I will not be writing updates as exciting as my London trip, but I promise to take shit tons of photos and post a blog entry and answer any questions left here as soon as I get back! :)

This is where you ask the questions you want answered. Or to make a random comment. Whatever the fuck you want to say.

Yay, you found it! Infinite Jest was probably the best book I've ever read, and also the most challenging. It might be enough to keep you occupied for however long your vacation is, but you might be the super-brain kind of person who can just devour it.

Yeah it's definitely difficult. I started reading it during my winter break last December, and just couldn't get through it. I was also dealing with a lot of other stuff, too. It just wasn't the time to read it, I suppose. But I did find it difficult, but I have been encouraged by multiple people that I should continue reading it, so it is my main goal during the trip (and extensive plane rides).

This is where you ask the questions you want answered. Or to make a random comment. Whatever the fuck you want to say.

Summer. Well, fuck.

My hardcover journal and fountain pen are still packed away from the recent move, so you all get to read my rant on here.

Yes, so, remember that happy post about summer?

Well, here is the updated version.

I was so excited. I was going to have time to do stuff, finally getting time to myself, to read, to watch movies, etc.

WELL JUST KIDDING.

[P.S. I can hear the person who lives above us. He is currently snoring. What the fuck.]

So. This is what my summer looks like.

• Work, 30 hrs/wk
• Internship, 2-3 hrs/day, 5 days a week---> 10-15 hrs/wk
• Online class at CSCC
• Class to get credit for the internship, which in and of it self includes 2 weekly assignments, an interview assignment, and two 5 page papers
• Volunteering
• 3 week family time/vacation, which will put me behind on everything before I even start!

I am ridiculously frustrated.

I have been hating college more than little else, because I have absolutely zero time for myself.

I really wanted to read some books. I really wanted to watch movies this summer. I really wanted to be able to go have alone-time. I really wanted to play some music, get back into my flute, learn some more guitar, sing.

WELL TOO BAD!

What's the point of life if you can't enjoy it?

I already have low self-esteem.

I always feel guilty.

I have a lot of OCD tendencies.

I am obsessed with being efficient.

I am a workaholic.

I've been unhappy for years, especially because of school.

Things are going on that I don't want to talk about/feel like I can't talk about with anyone, including my therapist.

I am depressed.

I am too depressed to even allow myself to drink.

I can't remember to take my pills.

I am addicted to sugar.

I am tired of school engulfing my life.

I am tired of being forced into being sociable.

I want time for myself. I want to be alone sometimes. And it just doesn't happen.

I am torn between making myself happy and making others happy.

I am torn between wanting stability and wanting to explore.

I am torn between needing companions and needing to be alone.

I can never find a suitable middle ground.

Fuck you, life. You're a cunt.

Healthy Eating

I judge my day by the kind and amount of food I eat.

Today, I have consumed:

• fettuccine alfredo from the Marketplace (meh)
• a yellow cake with chocolate fudge frosting, which I baked (and ate most of)
• Cherry Coke (yay!)
• And two whopping, huge-ass bows of Target-brand Fruity Pebbles. (ÜBERWIN!)

I must say, it has been a pretty damn good day. :)

Well, DAYUM.

Holy hell it's been FAR TOO LONG since I've whined to the interwebs!

Actually, I've been making good on the bargain I made with the Devil, whom I call my good ol' buddy Lucifer, to give me good grades in exchange for my soul. We'll see how that works later on.

So, yeah. This quarter has been intense. My classes ended up being a lot harder than I thought they would be. And I thought this would be my fun quarter! Well, dayum!

The past week, I've procured the keys to the summer apartment Molly and I will be sharing, and moved all of walt's furniture in. Ohhh yessss, we are stealing his furniture for the summer. Yippee!

Tomorrow, a group of us are scavenging the Short North Yard Sale. HELL YES CHEAP SHEEYIT!

Anyway, my Arabic class is the only class with a final, and it's online! So I'll be doing it at work, naturally. My Language, Sex, and Gender paper (Linguistics 367.01) was easy peasy (thank again to all of you who took the online expletives survey), and my Same-Sex Sexualty in History class (History 526) 10-page paper was ballin'. Transgender Themes in Religious Lore, mothafuckas! And brilliant, at that! No really. My expletive paper was much better. Hopefully I can pull off good grades!

I honestly can't remember what I was gonna say.

Regardless, Raspberry Woodchuck is absolutely fantastic. If you like fruity drinks, that is.

Anyway, this apartment is very nice. Very quiet neighborhood. Fantastic. Yet not too far from work and stuff. I can pretty much grab a city bus anywhere I need to go, and it's only a few blocks to the campus buses. And they're changing the library bus route to be more convenient! Perfecto!

I love Pokemon Pinball.

Random.

Anyways, this summer is gonna be awesome. We have walt's cats for the summer, and I FUCKING LOOOOOVE THEM!!! :3

My summer will include:

• Online psychology prereq class through Columbus State Community College, as approved for my Honors Contract
• Internship with Mondokio, LLC. which I've done before and loved. I'm excited to improve my French again!
• Work at the library in the cataloging department
• Work at the Research Office.
• Netflix
• AND READING BOOKS FOR FUN OMG!

And this is all in addition to the Sicily/Italy trip! Mmm I can't wait for my relatives' restaurant and their homecooked food! Oh right. Rome will be cool, too. :-P

ANYWAY, on June 13, the New Pornographers will be in town! I was supposed to go home, but I have to work Monday the 14th so that I don't lose my library job, so I GET TO GO OMG! I am extremely excited. They are one of the bands that I've been waiting to tour for awhile. (When the Arcade Fire finally tours, HOLY SHIT I WILL DROP ERRYTHING!!!) I'm getting my tickets tomorrow, so anyone who wants to go, let me know! Walt and I will be there!

I also am still too weird about money to pay about $50 a piece to see Muse and Metric in November. I mean, yeah, it's 3 days after my birthday, but I dunno that I can do that. I love Muse, and Metric is awesome, but I dunno. That's pretty damn steep. I wouldn't pay that much for anyone but Lady Gaga (don't judge). So yeah. I dunno. Plus, they'll probably be playing more of their new stuff anyway, and I really just want Absolution. Seriously. Apocalypse Now. NOW.

Also, I do believe my BrownMa will be visiting this exam week? Which means FUNSIES! :)

I am officially too drunk to continue typing. Cue Spaceballs. :)

Have a wonderful summer, my dear few readers! And if you're in Columbus during the summer, look me up!

(As always, ask me random questions on formspring and follow me on twitter!)

Lovesies <3